Decision That Has Been Made

Gambar sekadar hiasan dan sebaik-baik perhiasan di dunia adalah wanita solehah

Assalamualaikum....

Just a true story of myself to share with all of you.

It is not easy to get rid of jeans, fit blouse, small size t-shirt, tudung bawal and small size tudung in my life. I have lived with them for almost 25 years in my life. It was a big decision that I have made. One day in the almost year end of 2009, may be in the month of August or September, I have decided….I gonna to keep all my jeans and fit blouse away from my wardrobe. I took out all my jeans and fit blouses from my wardrobe and pack them in a few boxes. In the Christmas last year, I donated them to the needy families around Miri. It was a fast and instant decision that I have made.

In my first day of wearing big tudung, I felt uncomfortable, I feel my clothes is not tidy….tk kemas, besar sgt. But I tried to pujuk my heart, I am a Muslimah, it is better to wear a loose clothes. As the time goes, I feel comfortable with it and I feel I have lived with it for a long time.However, it just end of last year, mean just 5 months ago.

For the first week wearing big tudung, I only have two big tudung that I bought in a tudung shop in Miri. That shop only has a few choices of big tudung and I bought two of them. Their colors are light green and cream. I have re-cycled them for almost one week, wore and washed them instantly. I mixed my tudung wearing that week with my black color and dark brown tudung bawal. As these tudung bawal have quite dark color, so they are not so transparent. My friend, Ira was very happy when she saw me wore that big tudung for the first day……..

Actually, this is my second trial to wear big tudung, my first trial was when I was a temporary teacher in a private Islamic school in Kelantan in the year 2007. After almost two months teaching there, the headmistress set a rule that all teachers must wear big tudung. And I said…………oh, no!!. But there was a rule and I tried to follow it and I also must be a good example to my students. For the first day I wore it, my six years old student said, “Teacher, you know how you’re actually when you wear like this….??. I just smiled to her. She continued, “You’re beautiful”. Hrmm….I just keep quiet but in my heart I said, “Is it true??” . She was six year old Faidhun Najda, the daughter of a lecturer and a doctor in Kelantan,this year she already eight years old. I miss her cute face with her long eyelashes, hope she will grow up as a good muslimah.

But, I only can retain that for a few days and I only have two big tudung during that time, light purple and light blue. I wore that just to fulfill the school laws and not with full of my heart. After not teaching there because I have decided to find another job in KL, I just kept that tudung at my home in Kelantan. One teacher at that school said to me, “Ada hadis Nabi mengatakan ramai perempuan yg berpakaian tetapi seperti tidak berpakaian (telanjang). Dimaksudkan tidak berpakaian adalah kerana memakai pakaian yg jarang dan ketat sehingga menampakkan bentuk badan”.

What she said really touched me during that time but it took me two years to make this big decision. What she said always ‘bermain-main’ in my mind until I have made this decision. That teacher is Kak Yam, she is so soft spoken until what she said had touched my heart.

I am still in the stage of learning to improve myself, semoga saya istiqamah dalam perkara yg mendatangkan kebaikan.